My natural hair and I decided to call a truce this summer. I admittedly had spent a good chunk of my life trying to get my hair to submit to the whims of whatever curly-girl style was in. Bantu knots, twist outs, cornrows, boxer braids. But this summer I decided to let my hair do its own thing, even on a trip to New York. I loved the idea until I was trapped in a terrible rainstorm and left to make a tough decision.
This summer I was over it. I was over having the perfect edges or making my hair seem neater or more manageable. Usually, if I wanted to wear my afro, I would try to make it ‘cute’ by applying the heaviest products and spending my time twisting my hair into submission. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good twist out. But this summer I rebelled and experimented and my hair surprised me. I tried washing it with Shea Moisture’s Coconut and Hibiscus Shampoo and Conditioner. I then applied only the Shea Moisture curl and style milk and fluffed my hair and walked out the door. Throughout the day it dried but held up. I was not only surprised, I felt free. I used to feel like I had to twist my hair and let it dry before I could walk out of the house.
Don’t get me wrong, I had my moments of feeling self-conscious with wearing it like that. I don’t just have curly hair, I have thick hair. I can’t run my hands through my curls from the root even when detangled. I didn’t take as many selfies this summer and honestly avoided Instagram stories a bit. Even though my hair was natural all my life, I was re-learning to feel comfortable with my squishy fro as it grew out of my head.
So when the time came for me to figure out how to style my hair for my upcoming trip to New York I had a decision to make, or so I thought. Leading up to my trip, it turned out to be one of the busiest weeks for me, and I realized I hadn’t installed a protective style for my journey. There was no time for crochet hair or 5 hours to install box braids. I still hadn’t tried wearing a wig yet and I definitely wasn’t going to experiment on this trip. The only thing I had left to do was wear my hair naturally, so I did.
My usual routine back home was to wake up, fluff my hair a bit and apply my Shea Moisture curl and style milk lightly on the ends of my hair while I gave it some shape. That’s it. This big deal and burden I thought my natural hair would be while in New York was actually the easiest style I could have worn while there. I was ready to jet out across the city for dinners and my early morning conference. The only time I was concerned was the night it rained, but the next day my hair bounced right back and was ready for my adventure back home to Toronto.
I’m back to doing my usual twist outs and styling in different and funky ways. But I’m so happy I got to know my hair in a more intimate way than before. It just took using the right products and being brave enough to embrace my curls as I should have in the first place. I don’t have a ‘big chop’ story so whenever people would ask me about my hair I didn’t realize I was on a journey just like every other black woman out there. That loving my hair is a choice I make every day.
Thanks for reading guys! Let me know in the comments how you like to style your hair when you’re abroad.